one moment you’re annoyed the class you’re teaching got rained out, the next moment you jump in your car and make a new plan. so when my car door shuts and disappointment is right in front of me to choose, i immediately shift into the reality that this is meant for me. i am being led. thank you yet again, july thirteenth – the gift that life is too precious to settle for thing to thing living.
it’s overwhelming to write this perfect story perfectly because he already did. but i just vowed to write it all, so here we are. bare with me as i let emotion lead.
running through the rain with messy bangs and red sweatshirt state of mind, a million mental unknowns suddenly seem so quiet to the sound of South Africa. i know that accent anywhere. yet that methodical, intentional and deep kind of slow is so new it catches me beyond people watching.
the line shuffles and it’s back to my little bubble – earthlove latte with almond milk please, the crunch of cash in my damp hands, cancelled halloween plans, brochures in the making and the cast of characters that make for a bigger net of magic.
so when the only seat open is next to him i flip my phone screen down and observe, laugh at klaus in the corner, contemplate how the hell i’ll get to the airport on time and pretend i don’t notice his eyes or the actual physical journal with him. the rest is right out of a movie – or should i say the scenes i’ve always envisioned and the dreams he wrote.
follow me to the back like in some other universe we’ve been doing this for eternity. didn’t know i could be looked at like the only important thing in this world is my every word. didn’t know i could feel so free in the eyes of something so new. didn’t know someone could hear and hold my every unspoken so well.
as we pull card 22, we laugh at the secret between us both. i might read about it in the words he left me, he might hear it in my voice when we don’t want to hang up. we’ll both hear the world between us. but no matter what i hear this message loud and clear:
it’s out there. all of it. everything you thought was too much to ask for or just for the movies is absolutely yours if you choose it.
somewhere on the globe, someone else is choosing it too – thank you. and on some lucky day twenty one and twenty two align, poems are hidden in pages and the ocean hears your story.
when it’s real, it’s as simple and sweet as 50’s music.
-G
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