welcome to what’s been on my mind this week. starting with the most prominent, fascination of human nature. it’s becoming more and more clear how meaningless control is. this experience is coded in our stardust, written in our blood. we can change the font with the power of our internal faith, but what weaves into cursive when we simply trust the natural flow?
life is in the editing. all the crumpled drafts, words crossed out and restructuring of plots. i’m finding that the fun part is in everything i can’t predict. i love an outline, i love a plan with detailed descriptions of how every sentence will unfold into the next. but what i love even more is seeing what i can attract, seeing where my golden takes me and watching my spark magnetize.
characters. this part is truly intriguing. it’s so neat watching someone enter, seeing for what purpose they weave into your lines and then trusting their reappearances or conclusion.
i wonder where certain things will go, why other things have even had the privilege of being in my reality. i’ll admit, it’s hard for me to stay in that state of wonder. answers are so enticing, but freedom is in the questioning. so here are some questions.
why don’t you stay in the past? in what reality are you living in where re-entry is acceptable? what story do you tell yourself when your views are the first to come in all these months later? i know i leave an impact but what do you go back to when you look at her and know it’s not the same? why recreate our dates, go through our future list, drive the truck i designed and then text me at night when you’re empty nursing your dirt thinking about the star you lost under that full moon?
do looks across the room become stares into the soul? why do we play these games and who’s winning? what about me pulls you in? why do i have the most fun when i know it won’t go anywhere? where are you hiding in the spaces between words? why does the unspoken say so much with just a select few? why can you speak that secret language with me?
one thing i’m super grateful for is that i never question myself, i know those answers so well. it’s rooted in my core, solid as concrete, coded in my stardust and written in my blood. i’ll forever ask myself questions and be open to the questions life asks of me, that’s how you grow. but my answers will always be centered in my truth, in my grace.
-G
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