I have this feeling lately that life is a movie I am directing. When something happens, or a little test comes up or a sign presents itself; I have this weird knowing inside that it is me creating it. Not the me in this body typing this letter, but the formless me – the me that planted this part of me in this life. I truly believe there are countless of other fragments of me out there. Maybe they’re in other beings on this planet, maybe they’re in other realms, maybe they’re in other dimensions – but one thing is for sure, those fragments are out there.
In a way, that feeling makes me feel truly alive and deeply in control of this journey. Just recently, a little test came up and I had this deeper knowing that all was meant to be. I had this realization that I could choose to focus on all the other little things blessing me. There was this foundational belief, “I am creating all around me, and I deserve to see the miracles I’m creating, and maybe even this test is a miracle.” When I let myself truly live that belief, I felt profoundly in control. Reality is my creation and instead of sinking into the test and then coming back to that thought, I stopped, took a breath and truly lived my words. And that really felt good.
But in another way, I feel trapped. Trapped in this 3D world of confusion, division, lies, labels and limited thinking. There’s a seesaw thought I keep coming back to, “I don’t belong here, but I do belong here because I put myself here.” I know I’m here for a reason, but this is not the entirety of my life. This is simply a fragment; just like there are fragments of me beyond this body, there are fragments of my journey way beyond this life.
This journey is so magical in all its phases, changes and shifts. Most days, there’s an intrinsic smile in watching every moment play out. I love the paradox of living a moment internally and externally. I remember living moments in both realms, almost as if I lived in the split of reality fueled by me and reality fueled by outer structures. And sometimes, I fall back on that way of living. But now, there’s a joy of living from my soul within. The outside is so small to me, and my inside is vast. There are so many journeys I’ve yet to take and so many phases I’m still discovering. Love is always the glue, connecting every synchronicity and lesson seen along the way. I feel deeply grateful to know that vision has always been much more than my eyes. So, Thank You, Universe (me) for being my true eyes. -Ace
PS – This piece has gone through so many different phases and changes. It’s definitely been one of my most edited posts. But, in the spirit of the title “Being A Free Thinker”, it seems so apt that this specific piece has changed so much. Explore your emotions, explore your thoughts/daydreams and explore your soul – free thinking is a choice!
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