Part of a feeling that didn’t last It’s funny how a connection can feel so vast Enter a different timeline, find a new broadcast Cut to the chase, maybe we rushed it Exactly when did we breathe and trust it
Objectively, we looked like a glass unshattered Feelings underneath told a story more scattered
History is more than a written script Editing the now to feel like we clicked Reading our story, when was I tricked
Sometimes I knew I was making it more Trusting the feelings change in my core Oceans of rocky waves always hit this shore Ready to experience, I’m glad I felt it before Yet it’s time to let go, time to soar
Author’s Note – Acrostic poetry is a poem where the first letter of every line creates a phrase/sentence of its own, and I absolutely love writing in this form. The phrase here is “a piece of her-story”. If you break out the word history, it becomes his-story, so her-story is a play on that.
This is my story of a recent relationship lesson; I find relationships often are our best teachers even if it’s hard to see at first. It’s also a bit of a continuing thought from my last piece “this is what i’ve learned about love.”
I sat with this piece for a while as I was still figuring out “her story”, but I know it now and writing this was like a form of getting closure. If you’re reading this today, thank you for reading but also, take this as your sign to express what’s in your heart no matter what it is…closure is never found outside, it is always within.
I have this feeling lately that life is a movie I am directing. When something happens, or a little test comes up or a sign presents itself; I have this weird knowing inside that it is me creating it. Not the me in this body typing this letter, but the formless me – the me that planted this part of me in this life. I truly believe there are countless of other fragments of me out there. Maybe they’re in other beings on this planet, maybe they’re in other realms, maybe they’re in other dimensions – but one thing is for sure, those fragments are out there.
In a way, that feeling makes me feel truly alive and deeply in control of this journey. Just recently, a little test came up and I had this deeper knowing that all was meant to be. I had this realization that I could choose to focus on all the other little things blessing me. There was this foundational belief, “I am creating all around me, and I deserve to see the miracles I’m creating, and maybe even this test is a miracle.” When I let myself truly live that belief, I felt profoundly in control. Reality is my creation and instead of sinking into the test and then coming back to that thought, I stopped, took a breath and truly lived my words. And that really felt good.
But in another way, I feel trapped. Trapped in this 3D world of confusion, division, lies, labels and limited thinking. There’s a seesaw thought I keep coming back to, “I don’t belong here, but I do belong here because I put myself here.” I know I’m here for a reason, but this is not the entirety of my life. This is simply a fragment; just like there are fragments of me beyond this body, there are fragments of my journey way beyond this life.
This journey is so magical in all its phases, changes and shifts. Most days, there’s an intrinsic smile in watching every moment play out. I love the paradox of living a moment internally and externally. I remember living moments in both realms, almost as if I lived in the split of reality fueled by me and reality fueled by outer structures. And sometimes, I fall back on that way of living. But now, there’s a joy of living from my soul within. The outside is so small to me, and my inside is vast. There are so many journeys I’ve yet to take and so many phases I’m still discovering. Love is always the glue, connecting every synchronicity and lesson seen along the way. I feel deeply grateful to know that vision has always been much more than my eyes. So, Thank You, Universe (me) for being my true eyes. -Ace
PS – This piece has gone through so many different phases and changes. It’s definitely been one of my most edited posts. But, in the spirit of the title “Being A Free Thinker”, it seems so apt that this specific piece has changed so much. Explore your emotions, explore your thoughts/daydreams and explore your soul – free thinking is a choice!
My debut book, The Waking Dream, is out now! To purchase, click here for more info!
I know you’re watching me somewhere. I know you’ve already lived this timeline, this dimension and this adventure. And I know you are always guiding me. It’s in all these ‘knowings’ that I smile and sigh, because I know I am being taken care of.
When I speak to you in my head or in my dreams, it feels almost nostalgic. As if we’ve had these deep conversations before, maybe in another life or as another fragment of me. We don’t talk as much anymore because I know you truly see me. I know I don’t need words to tell you how I feel or what’s going on in my soul, because you are my soul and more.
I see you illuminating paths on my journey. I see you before you even appear. I’m starting to predict where you’re going to go, what test is coming next and what experience is around the corner. I can feel your nudges and your knocks, I can finally hear you. So, yesterday when you gave me that mini test, I wasn’t surprised. You told me in my dream that it was coming, and I smiled in the unknowns of how you’d make it happen. And even though it did happen, and it did affect me, it felt so good to sit in the comfort of knowing it was truly meant to be and only to help me. So, maybe this life is just my projection and all experiences are simply a test on my journey (the bigger test)?
You’re not just there in my tests, you’re there in my happiness. If happiness was a sun, you’d be the core and the rays, while happiness would simply be the label to define it. I saw you in my smile, and then the galaxies revealed themselves in my eyes. I saw you in my conversation with another reflection of you. You know connection has a special place in my being, connection is a deeply intertwined creation. Even though I may be connecting with a different person, I’m really just connecting with another presentation of you. So, I saw you in him and I saw you in her – I see you in all.
Labels and words get so confusing when I’m writing to you because you are beyond this society’s definition of “correct”. I know your language speaks all and knows all these emotions so deeply; I have no fear that you get my message. I fearlessly believe you in all the ways you’re aligning my escapades. Even though the unknowns still get to me and I’m still learning to let go, even though free thinking is still foreign to people and I still don’t understand it – I still trust you. Through it all, you are always me and I am always you. So, my body isn’t just skin and bones, it’s love.
There was a sun planted in a wallpaper of a sky. The sun was an infinite being and very much alive. It shined an enchanting glow to all, but only the few who had tapped into their own light could truly see.
One day, a cloud covered the sun’s soul. The sky went dark and murky, and all of the sudden the world seemed so lost. The sun smiled through its rays, as the cloud shifted a little.
With one ray peeking through the cloud’s dome, the sun felt so peacefully still. Its light was being shadowed, but its heart was beaming. The sun had remembered it was a star.
The cloud tried to expand, it tried to drift to cover the sparkling rays; but, it was still losing this invisible battle. The cloud couldn’t get to the sun – no matter how hard it tried, the sun just smiled and sat deeper in joy’s depths.
The sun gently, preciously and lovingly whispered to the cloud, “I forgive you.”
The cloud lost all control, it was flustered by the sun’s genuine love. And in an instant, the cloud disappeared. The world was aglow once again, as the sun basked in freedom. All had changed with just a few simple words.
Just watch one, watch whatever stands out to you or watch what speaks to your heart and soul! Please comment with your thoughts, I’d truly love to hear and it would mean a lot to me! Each video is what you Dare To Be – so keep that in mind while you’re watching! Dive In and Enjoy!!!!
1. Joyous – 1:51
2. Strong – 1:52
3. Vulnerable – 2:03
4. A Dreamer, A Believer – 2:12
5. My True Self – 2:09
6. Kind – 1:59
7. Silent – 1:58
8. A Leader – 1:56
9. Pure – 1:58
10. Creative – 2:14
11. Divine – 1:58
12. Thoughtful – 2:07
13. Electric – 2:00
Well, there you have it – Dare To Be is all yours!!! I’d love to hear your thoughts and favorites – it’d mean a lot to me!! I poured my heart, soul, mind, intuition and the entirety of my being into this album and I’m so happy to be able to share it with you! This one is extra special and I can’t believe it’s already my 3rd album! We still have some dates to look forward to; 5.23.21 is the bonus video’s release (Are you excited? What do you think it is?) and on 5.24.21 I’ll be releasing the Q&A about this album. If you have any questions for the Q&A, let me know!! Thank you so much for watching and I hope this helps you on your journey!!! Be fearless and free -Ace
One of the pillars of my character development and foundation-building in my childhood was loyalty. I always thought of it as one of the more simple concepts, something that’s an obvious trait. Through relationship ups and downs, growing internally and watching the Universe (me) design my life, I learned loyalty is a little bigger than I might have realized.
It feels so good to be loyal to yourself. When you know who you are in your bones, when you love yourself enough to stand up for yourself and when you believe so purely in your strength – life becomes so free. It’s the only way to truly live or thrive. You can’t authentically be loyal to something/someone else if you aren’t loyal to yourself. Something externally can trigger, question or test you, but, with loyalty to yourself there’s a certain peace within that allows you to see with open eyes and to rise above with an open heart. Here’s the fun part about being loyal to yourself — you automatically are being loyal to the Universe, because you are it and it is you; the Universe and you are one. The Universe is always loyal to you, because without even knowing it, there’s a place inside of you somewhere that always loves you for you; that place is called your soul.
In a few recent life experiences, I let loyalty roam around a little bit in my head. Bumping into experiences where it feels as though others are not loyal to us in ways that we would rather they be or if we feel betrayed or let down, it can seem that we live in an unfair, lonely, disloyal world. But, in reality, people can only be as loyal to us as they are to themselves. Throughout learning important character traits, and, together, laying foundational character work with my family as a very young person, I continue to realize over the years just who I am and how I function in Life and relationships. I know what I can count on from me and it guides me as I navigate even the toughest of situations. There is this ‘me’ that is guiding my choices full of what I can count on to show up as my character — and that is what is loyal to me and I to it — that force that guides me through knowing who I Am and who and what I am not and/or what I will and will not allow/participate in. Others meet us where they are at on their own perfect journey. The same loyalty we show ourselves is the loyalty that shows up for and with others. It is all a beautiful experience that is just as it should be along the way of embodying ever more of who we truly are.
When you trust yourself (the Universe), you can truly see this journey in a grander perspective. Grander perspective as in, more than this so-called human life — something infinite. This life is more than we believe it to be, we are the creators and everything happens for a reason. With loyalty to yourself, you start to see how everything truly connects.
I’m going to be honest, relationships are tricky. They’re one of the hardest things to life, but, one of the most rewarding! I believe in humanity, I believe in people, I believe in love. I care and I see you for you, so, I’ll be loyal if the stars align and if my intuition knows. There’s a piece of me that naturally sees people as being genuinely loyal too, and who knows, that could be true or not. The truth is, we’re are all reflections of each other, so maybe that’s just me seeing myself in another. People may not be loyal to you, they might not see you for you and that’s ok. Everyone is learning, growing and evolving at their perfect pace on their journey. I have loyalty to the Universe because I trust that all is always well and that all is meant to be. I have loyalty to myself because I am my best friend and I infinitely trust me through everything/anything.
I think sometimes the most seemingly simple things in life are the most powerful. And right now, loyalty is presenting itself a lot in my life. Through it’s appearances recently, I’ve paid more attention to the feelings that come with being loyal. Let’s just put it simply — it seriously feels so good to be loyal to yourself! You know when you smile and your whole aura changes, your thoughts change and your heart opens; it’s a similar feeling through being loyal. Someone can be talking to you, waiting for you to say a certain thing or to talk down / lower your vibration and you just smile and stay true to you, it’s so simple but such a BIG thing! There’s a knowing that comes with being loyal, it’s a knowing of your soul. And when you know your soul, YOU are truly fearless and free.
Here’s to being loyal to ourselves (the Universe) and basking in the magical emotions that come with it! Be fearless and free -Ace
Life is such a rollercoaster filled with so many unpredictable ups and downs. As much as this life is mine and yours, it’s ultimately the Universe’s. We’re just a living projection of the Universe taking a stab at this journey we call life. There’s a certain peace in me today that all is well and will always be well. There are many uncertainties hovering in my life, and for some reason I feel excited about them. So many unfinished chapters, so many unopened doors, so many undiscovered paths, so many unanswered questions, yet so much calm within.
I’ve learned a lot these past few weeks, lesson after lesson visited me. I know this is my life and I’m creating it, but, there’s something within that is just enjoying watching how everything unfolds. I do believe my higher self has all the answers, I think it knows all the twists and turns in this life. There was a time I’d be so desperate to know those answers and now I’m at peace with it — at least for today, that is. I was in the car the other day, just looking around at what we call “our world” and I just smiled. Who knows what this place is; it’s probably not home, it could just be a dream, it might just be my projection, maybe it’s a dome, maybe it’s someone else’s projected reality — who knows. What I do know, is I’m here for a reason and at some level this is all a test. I don’t think it’s a test in terms of failing or succeeding, it’s a test in terms of fulfilling or getting by.
As I watched the rain pour today, I also watched the ground absorb its drops and the sun rise again. Maybe I’m the ocean; the raindrops sink, create rocky conditions and heavy waves, but, the rain adds depth and uniqueness. And when the rain clears, the sun comes up again and shines bright enough for the whole ocean to bask in its rays. Maybe all that surrounds us, are just different lessons shown in things we think are real. Like the sun and the rain, maybe that’s just my higher self showing me that with emotion comes growth.
Are you fearless enough to believe that this life may be more than you ever realized? And are your free enough to let that thought bring you peace rather than fear? As life hits you today with unpredictable moments, experiences of many kinds and waves of lessons you chose to learn, lean into the peace that all will always be ok, because, you, my friend are much more powerful than you know. Maybe you already chose all of this and maybe you did so because somewhere inside you always knew you’d rise again and again.
So, after starting and deleting this seven times, I finally have this. It’s me one thousand percent, it’s honest, it’s authentic, it’s vulnerable, it’s unknown but known and it’s just free. Who knows, I might change tomorrow or I might have different beliefs in an hour but I know that it is very possible to have peace in the uncertainty. Here’s to riding these waves together and remembering that we have all the power to choose how these waves hit us. I hope this helps you on your journey! Be fearless and free -Ace