Shoes on the court
Trickles of sweat
Taped thumbs and ankles
Racquet in my calloused hand
The stickiness of a new grip
The sound of fresh strings on the ball
The connection to the concrete
Bounce the ball like that’s all there is
Play with the chain on my neck
Start the swing I’ve swung a billion times
Watch my mind go into automatic
Play the point
Reset the moment
Memory gets deactivated
Stillness gets ignited
Chase another ball
Step up to the line
Repeat it all a million more times
Competition is so hard to explain
But it pulls something out of you
I sense her across the net
I watch her play little games
My alarm goes off
I find the tiger within
I break the chain
Let her out
Forget sensing her across the net
Sense the moment instead
There’s always a choice
A choice to raise and pull ahead
Or a choice to let it get to you
Mind gets a little talkative
Feet start to bounce a little more
Score becomes heavier
The dopamine rush knocks at the door
I hear all the voices that have ever built me up
I see all the times I fought for my grit
I feel the fire inside, the one I learned to light
And that’s when I know, I’ll walk off the court with the balls
-Grace
Author’s Note – Walking off court with the balls means you won in tennis :-). I usually like to keep my two worlds separate…being an athlete (tennis) and being a writer. But I just came off a big tournament win and I thought I’d let my worlds collide :-). Competition has been a journey for me, but in so many moments this weekend I realized it’s a journey I will look back on with a smile inside and out. To show up for myself in the heat of the moment is the true victory, beyond the trophy.
High level tennis is hard to make relatable, it’s much more than what is portrayed in the public eye…it’s an intensity like no other and requires the highest level of mental toughness. I could write a million pieces on tennis and competing, and that wouldn’t be nearly enough to describe every aspect of it all. But for this piece, just remember “that choice” is a choice we make not just in competition but in everyday life.