Category: relationships

adrenaline

January 20th, 2023

We talk about emotions
All the inner explosions
But there’s a spark we sometimes forget
The hormones we just call “sweat”

The natural ignitions of words we can’t describe
Yet we run to something someone can prescribe
Do you remember what makes you feel alive?
Or has that become a memory used to survive?

I’ll add a little personal touch
Dopamine isn’t my crutch
But I live my life fueled to fly
A heart generated high

I train, compete and create
I listen, work and debate
All of a different adrenaline
A blend of my own feminine

A rush breaking through your own wall
A thrill getting up after every fall
It goes way past winning
Like a new way of grinning

I love the drip of sweat rolling down
I know that adrenaline is around
I love the breath that leads to a smile
I know that adrenaline will last a while

-Grace

Author’s Note – This is almost like a continuing thought from my last piece “athlete mentality”. I talked about “dopamine knocking on the door” in that one and this piece is like the aftermath of that knock. I love my adrenaline rushes throughout my days – all of slightly different kinds to maintain my inner balance/flow. I think we take our natural hormones for granted and forget what a true gift they are…those natural highs are what make us amazingly human and fully alive.
story telling

January 13th, 2023

Used to stare
into the eyes
When that became
disguise
Ignited the inner seeker
one glance into what’s deeper
When that became
perfectly vexing
I went inside
to the mirror reflecting

They call it
people watching
I call it
story telling
There’s a hidden spin
you can stare within
They tell us
it’s only overthinking
But that doesn’t last
just go beyond blinking

One of us
will peek and look away
One of us
will critique and stay
One of us
will shuffle through the whole crowd
One of us
will stare inside even if there’s a cloud
All of us
will look somewhere
But one of us
will go beyond the stare

-Grace

Author’s Note – this was supposed to be about “staring at the ceiling” but it came out a little differently. I love how it came together though. I will be playing around with the staring at the ceiling aspect soon :-). I’ve always been a people watcher and last few years I’ve found a deep peace in staring within, so it only makes sense that I need more than one piece to fit all these lifelong/ever-changing thoughts…more to come :-).
doors

January 3rd, 2023

turn the handle
hear the soft creak
take a deep breath
put one foot through
take one more breath
see what seems true
observe all the rest
leave the door behind
learn a few lessons
walk a few steps
venture too far
hit a wall
find the door again
lock it, no look back
hear a knock
over and over
easy to know who
with thumps so familiar
yet the door remains closed
then the sound becomes
more of a ring
and the heart listens
thinking bout turning the lock
ring ring ring ring
walk up to the door
feel the handle
walk away
walk back to the door
take a deep breath
open it once again
put one foot through
and pause
say one’s piece
make peace
with what’s beyond
the door
hear it almost close
behind thyself
take a deep breath
and wonder
how many doors
will stay open
how many doors
will stay closed
how many doors
will stay in-between
-Grace

Author’s Note – A little bit of a different style for me, but I wanted to play around with words…that is the beauty of writing after all :).

Often, I’ve felt comfort in hearing a door close and I’m learning to love hearing a door open. Doors open and close in life, it’s always kind of interesting to watch the journey. So cheers to finding peace in whichever way the door moves.
a piece of her-story

December 27th, 2022

Almost like a replay of my past

Part of a feeling that didn’t last
It’s funny how a connection can feel so vast
Enter a different timeline, find a new broadcast
Cut to the chase, maybe we rushed it
Exactly when did we breathe and trust it

Objectively, we looked like a glass unshattered
Feelings underneath told a story more scattered

History is more than a written script
Editing the now to feel like we clicked
Reading our story, when was I tricked

–

Sometimes I knew I was making it more
Trusting the feelings change in my core
Oceans of rocky waves always hit this shore
Ready to experience, I’m glad I felt it before
Yet it’s time to let go, time to soar

-Grace

Author’s Note – Acrostic poetry is a poem where the first letter of every line creates a phrase/sentence of its own, and I absolutely love writing in this form. The phrase here is “a piece of her-story”. If you break out the word history, it becomes his-story, so her-story is a play on that.

This is my story of a recent relationship lesson; I find relationships often are our best teachers even if it’s hard to see at first. It’s also a bit of a continuing thought from my last piece “this is what i’ve learned about love.”

I sat with this piece for a while as I was still figuring out “her story”, but I know it now and writing this was like a form of getting closure. If you’re reading this today, thank you for reading but also, take this as your sign to express what’s in your heart no matter what it is…closure is never found outside, it is always within.
this is what i’ve learned about love

December 24th, 2022

It’s all there is, all there ever was and all that will truly be. It has no end or beginning, no right or wrong way. There’s a certain flow you can feel, one that has no words or labels, but one that swims freely in the oceans of our now.

There’s a star I look at every night. And I think about all the people I’ve ever loved and wonder if they look too. I wonder if it’s the love in the star I’m seeing or the love of my journey I’m feeling. There’s that cheesy line that comes to mind that we’re all made of stardust, but more vulernably, we’re all made of what we trust.

I used to wonder if she would come out, the woman I looked up to inside of me. The firewood was always there, but it was about lighting the match. I forced it a few times, I pictured it many times – but it only took one time to choose to be her in every day. And the funny part is, she never knew when the timing would be right, but I did.

If there’s anything real in this world, it’s what keeps us breathing. Everything around us could be fabricated by our perception or some force bigger, but what’s within will always be real somewhere. There’s no clear answer; that’s ours to create. But the question will always be clear because something inside already wrote it.

This is what I’ve learned about love.

-Grace
a first last

December 20th, 2022

It’s the first chase I ever lived all the way to the last line
And it’s the last chase I’ll ever live again for the first time

It’s like going back to the first time you decided to be strong
While knowing you’ve been here all along
Living is more than being born and surviving
It’s being your own definition of thriving

It’s the first chase I ever lived all the way to the last line
And it’s the last chase I’ll ever live again for the first time

An experience is always old and new
Like a flashback and a presence so true
We have memories to remember where we’ve been
And we have vision to envision beyond our skin

It’s the first chase I ever lived all the way to the last line
And it’s the last chase I’ll ever live again for the first time

The now is simply a compilation of all your moments
A mixture of all your seen and unforeseen components
The now meets you a billion times in just a quick instant
But the choice to live is always right here, never distant

It’s the first chase I ever lived all the way to the last line
And it’s the last chase I’ll ever live again for the first time

-Grace

And here are some visuals with my favorite lines on them 🤍.
i’d rather fly

December 9th, 2022

There’s something
so fulfilling
about being direct
Something so
thrilling
Something so
perfect

I know that “directness” seems
frightening
I know to some it’s like being
struck by lightning
I know that ‘correctness” appears
to be enlightening

There’s no better gift
than conversation
Nothing so swift
as true sensation
Honesty has never been
a mystery
Promise me integrity
isn’t history

So, I choose to be direct
not perfect
I choose to be me
never to flee
I’d rather
fly
Then live
a lie

-Grace
miles away

April 15th, 2021

It was dark, just after sunset
It’s the purity I’ll never forget
It wasn’t too dark, and the water was still warm
I realized you had more character then I let my thoughts form
Stars were out with the soft orange
Laughter and smiles, we never had a shortage
Coming up from a wave, washed up on the board
You couldn’t cut my joy, not even with a sword
Saw a green flash
Soaked in your words, they made a splash
As the sun fully set on the horizon
Nostalgia flies in

It was dark, just after sunset
Fearlessness I’d finally met
It wasn’t too dark, and the water was still warm
So unexpected, your humor hit me like an electric thunderstorm
Stars were out with the soft orange
Our conversation’s memories I started putting in special storage
Coming up from a wave, washed up on the board
Miles away, but connected through this invisible chord
Saw a green flash
And even when our fire turned to ash
As the sun fully set on the horizon
Your appearances in my dreams is not surprising

It was dark, just after sunset
First saw you across the net
It wasn’t too dark, and the water was still warm
Messages turned into conversations considered a swarm
Stars were out with the soft orange
Courage to speak up I no longer had to forage
Coming up from a wave, washed up on the board
Friendship became real, not mind games scored
Saw a green flash
You added in, even when life hit me with a thrash
As the sun fully set on the horizon
One day, our connection will again be rising

Ace
Little Things

February 25th, 2021

I believe the little things in life let the stars twinkle and the sun shine brighter. The little things come hug you rise and shine, let you daydream in the afternoon and rock you to sleep – the little things make this journey a big, beautiful thing.

When I was a child, we always did poetry night in my family. Each of us would read a poem of choice from one of our many poetry books; my brother often chose Little Things by Christina Rossetti. I don’t know why this popped in my head, but at the same time, I do.

When your friend makes you laugh, or your Mom smiles with an eternal glow, or you find an old journal entry, or your Dad giggles, or your friend really sees you, or your sibling is quietly thoughtful or a comment that makes your soul feel at home – life just seems perfect.

The divine timing in the little things lets you know the Universe is here, kissing your aura and whispering in your ear. This genuine joy brushes over me because I know my past was worth it, my now is perfect and my future is starlit.

Be fearless and free -Ace
The Answer

January 9th, 2021

Life is such a funny ride, the Universe is a one of kind creature. I wish I could tell you I’ve figured it out, but each day I learn something new and realize the journey is the joy. I know my soul has lived many lives, I feel it in my gut. But, the Universe is still such a vast galaxy that I’m just starting to navigate. There’s somedays where I know manifestation is a real thing, other days I realize wanting something so bad or thinking about it too much isn’t the answer, the moment I let go the Universe gives it to me. On my tough days, the journey is the nightmare. I run to the edges of mind looking for an answer, a clue, as to what I’m really doing. Then there’s the days where I smile ear to ear, thanking myself for choosing this crazy journey.

But no matter what day I’m having, I always trust. I’ve learned that to worry and to choose anxiety only creates more of it. Overthinking is a curse that comes to haunt me at times, it tricks me into believing that thinking will give me an answer. What gives me an answer is feeling and trusting, I ultimately know why I’m here because I chose it. That voice I listen to is the real me, the powerful and knowing one that travels to my heart, my mind and my intuition but truly has a home in my soul. That voice knows the answer, it shows me the way and gives me a glimpse of my compass in my dreams. Somedays, I beg that voice to just show me it all, because it knows the journey all the way from the beginning and all the way to the end. But on days like today, I say thank you, because I realize what I’m truly doing.

Through the journey, I find little answers creating the big answer. The answer to every question, every wonder, is right here in me. I keep dreaming, writing, waking up, searching, diving, laughing, loving, trusting, listening, acting, choosing, believing, smiling, imagining, feeling and living because through all of it, I get the answer. I think I’m trapped in this reality my eyes are supposed to see, but the reality I choose to live in, is in my mind. I know, on the toughest days my mind resembles a cage, but most days it’s my escape. There I grow, I see and I hear, because this outside world is not meant for me. In my mind, I put together the voices of my heart, soul and intuition and those voices create the answer.

The Answer is the Journey

Be fearless and free – Ace

Category: relationships

The Answer is the Journey