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Fearless Free Soul

  • whistle of fire

    January 27th, 2023

    Know who you are, just stay
    You’re headed straight for fire
    Just a lot a bit more than the eyes

    Know who you are, just stay
    Think there’s sturdy walls
    There’s an open door
    If you see when she gives you the key
    Reputations about her swirl
    Ideas form and whispers travel
    She looks you in the eye
    And that’s surprising
    She’s confident and direct
    Yet quiet and paradoxical
    Often under the radar
    But when she’s on yours
    You’re headed straight for fire
    A painted picture of what she should be
    Hot or cold, shy or bold, strong or fold
    On the surface or deep down, she knows
    Stopped looking at the world
    Started looking within
    She sees him and her
    But she sees her (self)
    She chose her journey
    Forged a discovery, she became
    Just a lot a bit more than the eyes
    She keeps her circle tight
    Her eyes open and bright
    Dimensions she’s still finding
    Truths she’s still binding
    But she knows a look goes beyond the eyes
    She loves what’s underneath
    The unanswered questions
    The boundaries and the fire together
    The fearlessness and drive forever

    So, she whistles to herself

    Know who you are, just stay
    You’re headed straight for fire
    Just a lot a bit more than the eyes

    And whoever’s meant to be
    will truly hear
    that whistle

    -Grace


    I originally wrote a long behind the scenes on this one, but I think it’s all here if one truly hears 😉. This is a “story” of knowing who you are. And yes, fire seems to be the theme as of late…it’ll stay that way :).

  • our next now

    January 24th, 2023

    We spend so much time
    waiting
    for more time
    waiting
    for time to pass
    waiting
    for a time to feel whole

    We forget the beauty
    in living
    the beauty
    in breathing
    the beauty
    in just being

    Does a tree wait
    for its leaves to fall
    or
    for its roots to spread?
    Does the sun wait
    for its rays to rise
    or
    for its center to set?

    Who’s setting the clock
    to your life?
    What happens in all those moments
    you’re just waiting?
    When did life become
    a series of waiting for the next thing?

    The next thing is born
    in every now
    The now is never waiting
    it’s just all
    If we lived every now
    instead of waiting for every next
    Our next would be now
    and our now would be all

    -Grace


    Author’s Note – I actually wrote this while waiting for something :-). And then it hit me…why am I waiting? Sometimes inspiration is found in the tiniest moments. When I came back to blogging, I switched my tagline to “Truly, Deeply and Fully LIVE”…and that’s what this piece is about.

  • adrenaline

    January 20th, 2023

    We talk about emotions
    All the inner explosions
    But there’s a spark we sometimes forget
    The hormones we just call “sweat”

    The natural ignitions of words we can’t describe
    Yet we run to something someone can prescribe
    Do you remember what makes you feel alive?
    Or has that become a memory used to survive?

    I’ll add a little personal touch
    Dopamine isn’t my crutch
    But I live my life fueled to fly
    A heart generated high

    I train, compete and create
    I listen, work and debate
    All of a different adrenaline
    A blend of my own feminine

    A rush breaking through your own wall
    A thrill getting up after every fall
    It goes way past winning
    Like a new way of grinning

    I love the drip of sweat rolling down
    I know that adrenaline is around
    I love the breath that leads to a smile
    I know that adrenaline will last a while

    -Grace


    Author’s Note – This is almost like a continuing thought from my last piece “athlete mentality”. I talked about “dopamine knocking on the door” in that one and this piece is like the aftermath of that knock. I love my adrenaline rushes throughout my days – all of slightly different kinds to maintain my inner balance/flow. I think we take our natural hormones for granted and forget what a true gift they are…those natural highs are what make us amazingly human and fully alive.

  • athlete mentality

    January 17th, 2023

    Shoes on the court
    Trickles of sweat
    Taped thumbs and ankles
    Racquet in my calloused hand
    The stickiness of a new grip
    The sound of fresh strings on the ball
    The connection to the concrete

    Bounce the ball like that’s all there is
    Play with the chain on my neck
    Start the swing I’ve swung a billion times
    Watch my mind go into automatic

    Play the point
    Reset the moment
    Memory gets deactivated
    Stillness gets ignited
    Chase another ball
    Step up to the line
    Repeat it all a million more times

    Competition is so hard to explain
    But it pulls something out of you
    I sense her across the net
    I watch her play little games
    My alarm goes off
    I find the tiger within
    I break the chain
    Let her out
    Forget sensing her across the net
    Sense the moment instead

    There’s always a choice
    A choice to raise and pull ahead
    Or a choice to let it get to you
    Mind gets a little talkative
    Feet start to bounce a little more
    Score becomes heavier
    The dopamine rush knocks at the door

    I hear all the voices that have ever built me up
    I see all the times I fought for my grit
    I feel the fire inside, the one I learned to light
    And that’s when I know, I’ll walk off the court with the balls

    -Grace


    Author’s Note – Walking off court with the balls means you won in tennis :-). I usually like to keep my two worlds separate…being an athlete (tennis) and being a writer. But I just came off a big tournament win and I thought I’d let my worlds collide :-). Competition has been a journey for me, but in so many moments this weekend I realized it’s a journey I will look back on with a smile inside and out. To show up for myself in the heat of the moment is the true victory, beyond the trophy.

    High level tennis is hard to make relatable, it’s much more than what is portrayed in the public eye…it’s an intensity like no other and requires the highest level of mental toughness. I could write a million pieces on tennis and competing, and that wouldn’t be nearly enough to describe every aspect of it all. But for this piece, just remember “that choice” is a choice we make not just in competition but in everyday life.

  • story telling

    January 13th, 2023

    Used to stare
    into the eyes
    When that became
    disguise
    Ignited the inner seeker
    one glance into what’s deeper
    When that became
    perfectly vexing
    I went inside
    to the mirror reflecting

    They call it
    people watching
    I call it
    story telling
    There’s a hidden spin
    you can stare within
    They tell us
    it’s only overthinking
    But that doesn’t last
    just go beyond blinking

    One of us
    will peek and look away
    One of us
    will critique and stay
    One of us
    will shuffle through the whole crowd
    One of us
    will stare inside even if there’s a cloud
    All of us
    will look somewhere
    But one of us
    will go beyond the stare

    -Grace


    Author’s Note – this was supposed to be about “staring at the ceiling” but it came out a little differently. I love how it came together though. I will be playing around with the staring at the ceiling aspect soon :-). I’ve always been a people watcher and last few years I’ve found a deep peace in staring within, so it only makes sense that I need more than one piece to fit all these lifelong/ever-changing thoughts…more to come :-).

  • creator consciousness

    January 10th, 2023

    structure and flow
    fast and slow
    boundaries and love
    below and above
    listen and speak
    new and antique

    We find comfort in believing in opposites
    Until we look from a different consciousness
    We say opposites attract and leave it at that
    As if life isn’t a rhythm of waves, but just flat

    Although we prefer a would you rather
    Opposites are a collection of what we gather
    Life isn’t a series of different opponents
    Much more a recipe of specific components

    I’d pick structure over flow, fast over slow
    I’m finding a middle with boundaries and love
    Living in moments below and perspectives above
    I’d listen over speak, starting to love new over antique

    There’s a common opposite, strength and weakness
    Those words work together becoming your uniqueness
    But that’s the truth with every opposite, they blend
    Opponents are not the enemy, but the deeper friend

    Without the flow, life would be the distracted kind of slow
    Without love, there’d be no life to live below or above
    Without a way to speak, connection would be antique
    Without opposites, there’d be no creator consciousness

    -Grace

  • hottest flame of fire

    January 6th, 2023

    Glistened red
    Crimson blue
    A flame spread
    A fire flew

    A picture of heat
    looks like fiery red
    Maybe a little sweet
    or a passion finally said

    A picture of cold
    looks like an icy blue
    Maybe a story told
    or a feeling so true

    Society’s definition of emotions
    is simply going through life’s motions
    Blue for sadness
    and red for madness

    They don’t tell you
    the hottest part of fire
    is that glimmering blue
    beyond red, a burning desire

    There is no definition of emotion
    we’re simply a complicated ocean
    Blue for experiencing every wave
    Red for beginning to ignite the flame

    We start with red
    We heat up into blue
    The flame ahead
    The fire in you

    -Grace


    Author’s Note – I remember learning a couple years ago that the hottest part of a flame is the color blue. This fascinated me as it’s not really talked about; and because blue is often associated with the emotion of sadness and the thought of cold.

    So, this piece started very differently than the colors of blue and red and the thoughts of fire…I’m still very much living my last piece, “doors”. But I love how this one turned out because blue has always been my favorite color – all its different dimensions and all the different blues captured me (the blueness is my eyes has become my favorite 😊) – never really loved the tie in of sadness though.

    So, here’s my definition of being blue: I know we all have our own inner fire. I used to think that inner fire starts as wood and becomes a fire when we choose it, but maybe it starts as actual fire and becomes blue when we own it.

  • doors

    January 3rd, 2023

    turn the handle
    hear the soft creak
    take a deep breath
    put one foot through
    take one more breath
    see what seems true
    observe all the rest
    leave the door behind
    learn a few lessons
    walk a few steps
    venture too far
    hit a wall
    find the door again
    lock it, no look back
    hear a knock
    over and over
    easy to know who
    with thumps so familiar
    yet the door remains closed
    then the sound becomes
    more of a ring
    and the heart listens
    thinking bout turning the lock
    ring ring ring ring
    walk up to the door
    feel the handle
    walk away
    walk back to the door
    take a deep breath
    open it once again
    put one foot through
    and pause
    say one’s piece
    make peace
    with what’s beyond
    the door
    hear it almost close
    behind thyself
    take a deep breath
    and wonder
    how many doors
    will stay open
    how many doors
    will stay closed
    how many doors
    will stay in-between

    -Grace


    Author’s Note – A little bit of a different style for me, but I wanted to play around with words…that is the beauty of writing after all :).

    Often, I’ve felt comfort in hearing a door close and I’m learning to love hearing a door open. Doors open and close in life, it’s always kind of interesting to watch the journey. So cheers to finding peace in whichever way the door moves.

  • storms

    December 30th, 2022

    The whoosh
    of turning a crisp page
    The whirl
    of setting an invisible stage

    The rustle
    of wind running through a tree
    The tumble
    of waves washing on the sea

    The silence
    of roots tunneling into the earth
    The whisper
    of a season’s new birth

    The meaning of sound
    hits us round and round
    It’s something we let pass us by
    yet we know inside it will always fly

    In every moment you look
    there’s a song to hear
    In every lesson we took
    was a harmony so clear

    My name is grace
    but my sound has a different pace
    A verse without labels or forms
    and a chorus with peaceful storms

    -Grace

  • a piece of her-story

    December 27th, 2022

    Almost like a replay of my past

    Part of a feeling that didn’t last
    It’s funny how a connection can feel so vast
    Enter a different timeline, find a new broadcast
    Cut to the chase, maybe we rushed it
    Exactly when did we breathe and trust it

    Objectively, we looked like a glass unshattered
    Feelings underneath told a story more scattered

    History is more than a written script
    Editing the now to feel like we clicked
    Reading our story, when was I tricked

    –

    Sometimes I knew I was making it more
    Trusting the feelings change in my core
    Oceans of rocky waves always hit this shore
    Ready to experience, I’m glad I felt it before
    Yet it’s time to let go, time to soar

    -Grace


    Author’s Note – Acrostic poetry is a poem where the first letter of every line creates a phrase/sentence of its own, and I absolutely love writing in this form. The phrase here is “a piece of her-story”. If you break out the word history, it becomes his-story, so her-story is a play on that.

    This is my story of a recent relationship lesson; I find relationships often are our best teachers even if it’s hard to see at first. It’s also a bit of a continuing thought from my last piece “this is what i’ve learned about love.”

    I sat with this piece for a while as I was still figuring out “her story”, but I know it now and writing this was like a form of getting closure. If you’re reading this today, thank you for reading but also, take this as your sign to express what’s in your heart no matter what it is…closure is never found outside, it is always within.

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