Unanswered questions came knocking at my door, I opened it and let them in. Then that happened again and again and again; the nagging voices got worse each time. I jumped in, I gave them space in my head, I let them soak in all my attention, I watched them appear in my dreams – I saw them in the back of my head every single day.
I let these unanswered questions search for my fear and they found it, my fear being the future. All the uncertainty and change was a golden opportunity for my unanswered questions to run wild. I could get distracted for a period of time, but when silence visited, they knew it was too peaceful in my head. My barrier was down and they swarmed my brain like an army of well-trained soldiers, each knowing every angle that they could attack.
I started bringing my awareness to all the visits from my unanswered questions, I’d watch as one thought would spark the next, each one piling on top of each other until my belief crumbled. But, when I picked another thought aligned with love, or when I let my own voice speak up, they’d all fly away. It took conscious awareness to push them away and this was something so exhausting, but, incredibly worthwhile. Like a battle in my own head, I was done surrendering, I had to stand up for myself before their strategies controlled my whole being.
After some practice of consciously fighting back with love, I realized fighting wasn’t the answer, letting go was. These unanswered questions and the fear behind them aren’t the real me, they’re just little parasites trying to take away my power. They could be evil, but why attach a label? When you put a label of fear, more fear attaches. So, instead I just asked myself a simple question, which thoughts are serving me a higher good – love or fear?
So, when the first soldier or unanswered question popped in my head, I’d notice it, but, I let it float away. All the forces of my higher self were ready and waiting, but, the battle was irrelevant. It just became about choice, and I finally chose to pick me and love above all else. These unanswered questions never stopped visiting, I just paid less and less attention. So, my reality and their reality was no longer a match. Don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t just any easy split second decision. This was a conscious effort that I made over and over again, until it became subconscious. Once I know longer thought about it and just let the love in me do the work, these unanswered questions had no power or life – after all, I am the vessel that chooses whether to give them life or not.
Letting go, has never been easy for me, but, it’s always been rewarding. After practicing letting go in a billion little battles in my head, it became one big let go – fear. My fear of the future lost its grasp on me and I let go. I realized so much is out of my control, but what I can control, is the way I handle the uncertainty. My thoughts will become reality, and that’s my place in my future. So, as the Universe (above and in me) smiled down on this lesson learned, it hugged me too.
Just as I’d let go, it showed me the answer. I internally smiled because it’s funny when we no longer worry about something, the worry gets answered.
And that’s when the Universe, me, whispered, “Simplicity is all there is. Simply let go, and I’ll take care of the rest. Enjoy the ride.”
Be fearless and free -Ace
Fearless Free Soul 