Category: prose

in my own world

February 17th, 2023

Staring at the world in front, eyes wide and senses alive – yet there is nothing to see. The mind floats around from one idea to the next, one memory to one dream and one moment of hurricane to one moment of nothingness. There’s a peace in the wandering mind, a sense of home in the fluttering of familiar rabbit holes. In that comforting moment of internal adventure, everything outside evaporates into a new imagination.

She’s staring ahead, eyes on me, yet the heart seems to be on a different adventure. There’s something so alive in her gaze yet so dead in her attention to the outside. If there was a bubble around each of us, hers would be so intently fixated on every little detail of the present yet so mysterious in its grasp of reality. Her eyes may be focused on one thing, but her truest eye is flowing in another. I guess that’s where the lines of vision and sight get blurred.

Author’s Note – Inspired by the gym :-). I’m a total gym-rat and in-between sets the other day I was staring ahead but totally not fixated on what I was staring at, just in my own world. So, this piece is an elaboration of that. The first verse being my point of view and the second being the point of view of…whatever my eyes seemed to be set on :-).
Reflecting My Glass

March 12th, 2021

I look in the mirror, and smile at my reflection. Sometimes, I feel I’m just looking at myself, other times I feel I’m looking at a me from far away. I put my hand on the glass and soak in the chill, then I close my eyes and play my reflection back in my head. I start to form some words to say to myself, but, I know the me in my reflection already knows what I have to say. So, I open my eyes and smile as I watch the glass illuminate the sparkle in my eyes and the twinkle in my teeth. I turn the lights off, shut the door and leave that experience waiting for more.

I pick up the shard of glass and watch the light dance on it. First comes purple, reminding me of that thing that makes me happy-sad. Then green shines through the sharp corner, reminding me of that experience that makes me euphoric. Those colors disappear, blue takes over and I sink into the floor; it reminds me of the moments I have alone, just me, myself and I. As the blue exits, yellow enters and brings a smile to my face for a reason unknown. Yellow moves to the upper left corner of this jagged shard and pink starts to dance; the pink reminds me of all the days love taught me to let go. Through my window, the sun sets and the dark night sky takes over. My shard becomes clear again, and I rise from the floor; this experience is one I’ll remember for sure.

The glass breaks and the sound sends a charge through my body. A million pieces scatter on the floor, funny enough, they remind me of my own glass pieces. Each shard has its own energy, personality and glow. But, when they’re together, they create something beautiful and unique of their own. I flash the two memories back and forth – the whole piece of glass and the million broken shards. But, are they really broken? Or are they in their natural form? As I’m cleaning up this so called mess, I change my thought perception. What if on my whole days I’m still a million broken shards, but they just create something a little more beautiful? And what if on the days when the shards of glass stay shards, I’m just being more vulnerable and real?

I’ve had glass analogies running in my head for quite some time now! I really like each of these outlooks, they are unique and different, but, there’s that something that pulls them all together! Which analogy resonates the most with you? I’d so love to hear!! I think I’ll forever have a different perspective whenever I see glass! I hope this helps you on your journey!! Be fearless and free -Ace
Coloring My Soul

February 5th, 2021

Colors dancing in the wind, some vivid, others blurry. Bright and alive, blue makes me smile bringing back memories of the waves in my journey. Red, so vibrant but reminding me of people who use power in backwards ways. Purple always lets me feel emotion, connecting me to the depths of my intuition. Yellow makes my soul flow with joy and flashes of the grand sun charge me with energy. Green makes me grateful for Gaia and all the trees that hug me daily. Pink calls to my heart, but, my eyes see its hues in the sunsets. Black brings me comfort in knowing all shades are within me, while white brings its clean, classic and elegant aura. I’m sure there are many more I have not yet seen.

All the colors my eyes present bring a peace to my being and a joy to my mind. Sometimes, the simple things make the biggest leaps.

What color speaks to you?
My Hand’s Daydream

January 19th, 2021

The car keeps rolling steadily through the open roads. I’ve always thought it weird that the car can move miles and I don’t move an inch. I guess it’s like my thoughts, they move miles in my head but my body stays still.

I put my hand on the window and look out at the land. I unleash my imagination and my thoughts to run wild through the fields. My hand stays on the glass and my eyes rest on my nails. They’re longer than they’ve been and that makes me happy, my hands always seem to be a gauge of where my state of mind is.

Back to my thoughts, she comes through and I see her playing in the crops. Then he comes in and I see him through the song I’m listening to. Now my gaze comes back to my hand on the cold window; I soak in the stillness. Back to the fields, last night’s dream starts to unravel itself and tomorrow’s vision comes to light. Then they all become alive, it’s making me wonder.

My foundation makes a large circle in the middle of the crops, winding itself in and out into the most beautiful shapes. No matter what thought comes into my mind, that foundation stays strong and clear.

I open my eyes out of this short daydream and draw my attention back to my hand. I marvel at how my small, delicate hand connects to the sun above me and the mountains that surround. Me, seemingly just a small human, in actuality a big part of this enormously infinite Universe.

I unlock my phone, change the song and start writing. Here’s what came. -Ace
The Answer

January 9th, 2021

Life is such a funny ride, the Universe is a one of kind creature. I wish I could tell you I’ve figured it out, but each day I learn something new and realize the journey is the joy. I know my soul has lived many lives, I feel it in my gut. But, the Universe is still such a vast galaxy that I’m just starting to navigate. There’s somedays where I know manifestation is a real thing, other days I realize wanting something so bad or thinking about it too much isn’t the answer, the moment I let go the Universe gives it to me. On my tough days, the journey is the nightmare. I run to the edges of mind looking for an answer, a clue, as to what I’m really doing. Then there’s the days where I smile ear to ear, thanking myself for choosing this crazy journey.

But no matter what day I’m having, I always trust. I’ve learned that to worry and to choose anxiety only creates more of it. Overthinking is a curse that comes to haunt me at times, it tricks me into believing that thinking will give me an answer. What gives me an answer is feeling and trusting, I ultimately know why I’m here because I chose it. That voice I listen to is the real me, the powerful and knowing one that travels to my heart, my mind and my intuition but truly has a home in my soul. That voice knows the answer, it shows me the way and gives me a glimpse of my compass in my dreams. Somedays, I beg that voice to just show me it all, because it knows the journey all the way from the beginning and all the way to the end. But on days like today, I say thank you, because I realize what I’m truly doing.

Through the journey, I find little answers creating the big answer. The answer to every question, every wonder, is right here in me. I keep dreaming, writing, waking up, searching, diving, laughing, loving, trusting, listening, acting, choosing, believing, smiling, imagining, feeling and living because through all of it, I get the answer. I think I’m trapped in this reality my eyes are supposed to see, but the reality I choose to live in, is in my mind. I know, on the toughest days my mind resembles a cage, but most days it’s my escape. There I grow, I see and I hear, because this outside world is not meant for me. In my mind, I put together the voices of my heart, soul and intuition and those voices create the answer.

The Answer is the Journey

Be fearless and free – Ace
My Dive

January 6th, 2021

A journal entry felt right for today! Have the freedom and bravery to dive into your waves of emotion, only through the dive can you find the shore again. Be fearless and free -Ace
we all write stories

January 4th, 2021

My story is writing itself
The words being my fire’s soul
I can never erase
Perfectionism I don’t chase
Because what makes the story gold
Are the ups and downs in my world
Loving the character comes easy
When you see the growth
Not all the happy moments because then it’s just cheesy
The outside I can’t control
But I can live from my soul
Life’s path is what I make it
I will keep my true grit
Improve my wit
And always keep my fire lit
Ace
i hear you

January 3rd, 2021

Trigger after trigger
Makes my ears ring
Taking a deep breath
I stay grounded
My heart well rounded
Understanding different opinions
But rooted to my own
Sitting in my energy zone
Feeling my mind and my soul alone
Words come and go
Feelings bring me joy and woe
Heart continues to pound
But I’m always listening
To what he says
Or she says
But mainly to what I say
It’s all that matters
Triggers can try their best
But I will conquer and let them rest
All will work out
I shall not pout
Right now, it might hurt
But I’ll get up
Cause that’s all I can do
Always knew
There’d be these days
Where I’d feel tossed around in many ways
But that spirit inside is alive
It never dies
Pain doesn’t scare me
One + One, Two
Pain + Love, I grew
The point of the Universe’s test
Is to not fall into stress
Remember I’m blessed
This is all part of the quest
I’m not mad at him
Or her
It will all be fine
I’m just listening to the voice that’s mine
This much is true
Because I hear you
Ace
Saying Goodbye To 2020

December 31st, 2020

Dear 2020:

On this last day with you, all the memories I’ve made this year come crashing in, the tremendous amount I’ve grown this year makes me smile and the dreams that have come true sends a rush through my being. I honestly can’t believe this is it with you, this year has seemed long at times and very fast at other times. To some, you may have been an annoying and tough year but, to me you have been an eye opening and truth-filled year that I will forever be grateful for.

You’ve changed my life in so many ways. To start, you woke me up out of the dream of lies this world is full of. You gave the truth a new meaning this year and with that truth came true freedom. In the beginning, I’ll admit, it wasn’t easy. I felt like my whole world had been rocked and my dreams too, but then came the gratitude, freedom and drive to make a difference. The truth has truly become my best friend and I wouldn’t want it any other away, I am so grateful to be really alive. I will never sleep again, being alive gives me purpose and makes my fire inside light up the world. So, thank you for all the truth you’ve brought to me, that’s just one way you changed my life and me.

Another way you’ve changed my life and I, is by making my dream of having a website/blog come true. There was no better time than with you to make my dream a reality and I am so so grateful to you. This website has brought me so much comfort, connection and freedom. The people I’ve gotten to connect with through my blog has been truly amazing, I never thought I’d get to have the pleasure of connecting with such beautiful souls from across the world. Writing is my best friend, I’ve spent so so many hours typing/creating away. My debut album, my story, my future sophomore album and all the posts in between will be a part of my heart and soul forever, thank you for that. I can’t believe it has only been four months of blogging, I feel like this website has been inside of me forever. I’ve grown so much mentally and emotionally and I think that credit goes to you, for both bringing this website and the truth into my life.

Yet another way you’ve change my life and I, is by bringing a much needed balance to my life. Tennis and being an athlete is my passion, but so is writing and helping raise the frequency of this planet. Combining both, plus spending time in nature, being with my family, connecting with my friends and just the everyday things in life I got to enjoy more this year, really has brought me true balance. I know in my soul that all the writing and creating really has helped the athlete side of me grow and get better and the athlete side of me has helped my words have so much depth and meaning to them. Without the athlete, I wouldn’t be fearless and free and without the writer, I wouldn’t be as joyous or alive. I truly thank you for the harmony you’ve created in my life through the balance of both sides of me, I truly feel that in each day I thrive.

I have to be honest and say that this year with you hasn’t been all sunny and bright, there have been some rough and dark days. But I know in my gut that without those tough days, the bright days wouldn’t mean as much and I definitely wouldn’t have grown. It is in the dark I have truly chosen to evolve and to come out stronger. Another way you have changed my life and I, is by showing me what it really means to love myself and to believe in myself. With that newfound love and belief in myself, I can truly see that those tough days shaped me into the unique light that I am. Those days taught me how to shine my light and how to be strong in the weirdest of times. I think vibration and energy also have a new meaning to me this year, thanks to you. I feel so much more in touch with my energy, much more control over my energy partly due to cutting out sugar from life completely and I definitely can read other’s energy much much better. I even got the experience of seeing other’s auras which was fascinating. I am authentically myself, no matter how much that person changes, I am my true self every single day. I am so hard on myself and giving myself credit isn’t the easiest thing in the world, but, I can say with full truth that I am really proud of the fearless and free soul I am.

2020, I hate to say goodbye, you really have brought me so much. I know you’ve been treated poorly at times but, I get your message and I see you. I know the truth is your purpose and I will always remember you for that. Thank you for the joy, love, truth, comfort, connection and growth you have brought me. Thank you for strengthening my relationships with my family and friends and thank you for showing me that dreams and thoughts do become reality; I’ve always believed that and I always will. 2020, the Universe, thank you. -Ace
2020’s reality

December 30th, 2020

When 2020 began
2019 ran
I thought I knew my year
With my dream so near
But then the truth hit me
And I could no longer just be
I had to dig
And dive for answers
Because I realized lies
Were all this world presented
I don’t resent it
I just needed an alarm clock
To wake me up
As my world changed
And my dreams too
I kept fighting for you
That soul inside
Whose drive cried
To take place in my reality
Then this blog was born
Never thought I’d be here
Feeling the Universe so near
Blessed beyond words
To have connected with you
And to have a made a dream
Reality
Changing my mentality
And practicing my dimensionality
2020 has shaped me into a better version
Giving the truth my total immersion
I thank you
For helping me awaken
For being the friend I needed
For making dreams come true
For letting me grow
And teaching me how to glow
Every single day in a row
Ace

Category: prose

The Answer is the Journey